I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
