Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
did i walk over a car last night?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize