maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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