somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
