I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
