ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
