he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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