I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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