Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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