Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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