just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
