I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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