so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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