he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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