Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
