Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
