Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
