12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
