Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
