We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
