So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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