you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
