New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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