I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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