I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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