I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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