i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
