Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's blow job season.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
