my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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