im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
