? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
