i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
