The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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