I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
