Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
