problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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