I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
