Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's rum buckets o'clock
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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