do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
