Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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