I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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