Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
