there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
