"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
