We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
