just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
