break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
