I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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