whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize