i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Less talking, more tequila
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
