You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
