Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
