Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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