so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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