I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
