ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
