My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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