Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
