i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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