We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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