Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
