Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
