I just made out with a guy for $7.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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